L.O.V.E

L.O.V.E.
That's the topic for today.
Love to me is something that you can't define at all.
You never knew when you're in love. And when you are, you feel the world is yours. Everything is just perfect in your eyes.
And when you aren't, you feel so left out. No one there for you, just you alone vs the world.

I met this someone, so very special. At least, to me she was, and still is.
But would you force someone when they don't love you? Of course it'll be a 'no'.
The world was mine. My smile became sweeter. Flowers bloom again in my heart.
But now, the world doesn't want me, my smile is bitter, the flowers are dead.
It hurts so much though. But I'm not blaming her or anyone at all.
Because she makes me happy.

It's all because of me. I kept my problems to myself. Didn't tell her at all. Because I've promised I'll be there with her. Don't wanna hurt her, so I kept it from her, I thought of solving it on my own. Totally my fault when I knew she's there for me anytime. I recklessly did the wrong thing.
I wish I can turned back time. But time is love as well. Treasure it or waste it. It's all on you.

And now I decided to back off from this place. Because I hurt the most important person to me.
I'm in vain, I'm weak again. I can't stand on my own foot. I'm not begging for her forgiveness, I want her forgiveness. I don't need her love, I'm dying for her love. Damn, now this is killing me.
I wanna see her face, see her laugh, and even see her sing a song for me. I still owe her a song as well.

This is part of the lyrics that I wrote but now it's no use anymore...

...because I want her happy
...and I love her smile

I have no more idea on what to write. My mind's so messed up right now. I don't want goodbye.

Lucky I still have my blog to express everything.

A Total Dipshit I Was

A bad day for me.
The worst to be more accurate.
Because of my silly annoying attitude.
I've ruined everything away.
When I was feeling so happy. Things turned out to be different.
And there's no way of turning back.
I really hope I can do it, because I need that someone back.
Now I'm dedicating this back to her...

"All my sorrows flew away
Hush keep quiet hear me say
I don't ever want you to go
Please stay..."

I know it's too late, but everything for me is never too late.
I'll try my best and fix everything.
This I promise because I've promised I'll protect everything.
I'm a dipshit and I know that.
A 'sorry' can't fix everything...
But it's not my mouth that wanna say sorry.
My heart told me to say that.

Happy Again

Hi, I'm back.
I'll have a paper later morning.
So before I continue revision.
I wanna write something inside.
The topic is 'Happy Again'.
Yeah, since yesterday, I was very happy.
Something nice happened to me.
And I mean it. Very nice.
Thanks yeah to that particular person.
For making me so happy.
You make my world goes round and round.
A million words to describe you, but I can't even type anything to picture you.
Well, it's ok though.
Lemme keep it to myself bout how special you are.
Hurmm, I think I'll continue my revision now.
But will be back soon yeah.
Wish me luck later morning.
Good bye.

Thanks fore reading.Muah muah!!!

Story of a Story-teller

Hi friends, I'm back.
Time passes by so quick. Just realized that this semester is finally coming to an end.
I may not be able to see some of the faces I've been with next semester.
Especially to BUDDY, I wish you guys all the best. Congratulations in advance for your upcoming graduation. I will miss you guys so much. Friends and brothers you are to me. Knowing all of you was very fun. I hope that we can meet again some time.

And to some of them, I wish you all the best and looking forward to see you guys again. This semester was the best moment I've ever experienced at my campus. I made so many friends. And thanks for that. I really appreciate you guys for taking your time to know me. I will treasure it. My coursemates are the best. Especially to 'Geng Mumaiyiz'. You girls are the greatest. You rock my word, you shake my world, and you make me dance. Hahahaha. Thanks yeah for everything.

And to my so-called brother and sisters, what can I say more. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! You make me feel like home. Always there for me, laugh with me, pampering me. Aaahhh, all of you are so sweet. I am really looking forward to see all of you again the upcoming semester. So we can hang around more and more and more until we realized the world is ours. Hahaha. Kak Siti, Kak Izza, Kak Gee and Jai. Hahahaha. See you again next semester!!!

That is all about what I want to talk about this time. Will be back soon.
Thanks for reading. Love you guys and girls. Muah muah muah!!!

When Mood Is Shaking

Currently I'm falling down.
Because of something that I think it's best if I keep it to myself.
Everything seems so wrong from A to Z, from 1 to 10.
I can't do anything at all. Because my mind is intoxicated.
I feel so fucked up, up to now where I'm still posting this.
I don't want to ask for any help, because it's my own problems.
What's the point of causing problem to others when it has nothing to do with them.
It's not that I don't trust them. I love them so much that I don't to trouble them at any costs.
That's why I'm keeping it to myself.
Yeah, I do suck a lot. But that's me. I can't change it. It has been running in my blood for this 21 years ++ I have lived.
So to all my friend, sorry if I looked different. I just hope you'll be there.
Even though you don't know what's wrong, at least you're there for me in my hard times.
This won't last long. I'll be back for sure.
And when that time comes, I'll laugh again. I'll smile again. And I'll be ruining this world again.

Thanks for reading. Will be back later.

Tomorrow aku mo pergi bandar, mo release tension...Cehh...Huhuhu...

Futsal by Buddy

Yesterday was a fun time for me, my friends and all the BUDDY's.
For sure, yesterday will remain in me forever. We played futsal together. And the whole game was filled with joy and laughter. Even though some of us(including me) is not that good in playing futsal(or even never been for an exercise), all of us came and played together. It was very fun. At first, I didn't plan to play with them. But after a while, everyone insisted to go. And hell, who want to be left alone. So I came as well.

And yeah, we didn't criticize each other. Everyone was having fun. We never stopped laughing. Even though I was so tired like shit, I can still laugh because that game was quite fun. I remembered my friend at my hometown. We used to play futsal together as well, but I'm not that good in that sport. We played just for fun. But yesterday was more than that. It's not that I'm comparing my friends here and at my hometown back there. But yeah, friends here are different. We're not from the same state, but everyone is just so close. Being with them does make me happy all the time. The world goes round and round. Hahaha.

But this semester will be the last for some of them. So we won't be seeing each other again, or it will be hard to see them to be more accurate. But that's okay though. Because friendship is from the inside. I'll be sure to keep them forever in my memory. We've done a lot of things together, we share the same interests, sometimes we share our problems, we shared our hardship, and everything. The bond is so strong.

Yeah, I guess it's true after all. Friendship is really important in our life. It will be hard to move forward without people who keep supporting us. Our journey in this world is quite far. We won't reach the end just by ourselves. We do need friends. Who will be there for us when we're up, and when we're down.

So, that's all for my post today. Shit, quite touching for me. Hahaha. Thanks for reading. Catch you guys and girls later. Love you all.
Muah Muah Muah!!!

Music Magic Mystic

I'm back again. I was forcing myself to go to sleep but I failed. I don't know what's bothering inside. But hey, it's okay. I'll pour everything, what's in my mind right now. I'm going to the next topic, which is about music. Or about my involvement in music to be more accurate.

I started this band thingy when I was in my school. About 4 years maybe. But a lot has happened in that 4 years. So here's how the story goes.

When I first entered Form 6, I knew nothing about music. Yeah, hell I knew nothing. But I was interested in playing music instruments at that time. So I started with a guitar. Mom didn't say anything or stopping me at that time. She even gave me the money to buy that guitar. So I started with an ordinary wooden guitar. Well, I'm a beginner. Hahaha. So from there, I took a lot of time to learn how to play that thing. Damn was so hard.
And the man behind all that(my music teacher(s)) are BENONI, ABANG AKHMAS and MY UNCLE(ISMAIL BOLHI).
Benoni is a vocalist in his own band(THE GRENADES). He taught me how to play guitar and he was my vocal teacher as well.
Abang Akhmas is my own cousin and my bestfriend. This guy was in a band that changed it's name frequently. From Sesame Street, Odd Slumber Friday(the band I was in) and THE FRIDAY(just an alter name for O.S.F).
My uncle was my inspiration. A great man in music. Super good with music instruments. His band won a lot of competitions and got so many invitations to do stage-performing. He was in Tribal Tone(the name for the music studio that they used to hang out) as a guitarist and vocalist. Currently he is playing for Founding Father, with some members of Tribal Tone still play with him.

How I can be involved in music scene. Here's the answer. I was a still a learner back then. Odd Slumber Friday(OSF) was finding for a bassist at that time. It should be filled by me, but I was still learning. So they found a bassist. Meaning I failed to join the band. But something happened in the middle. There was no vocalist for the band at that time. It should be filled by Abang Akhmas himself, but he turned down that offer. So they offered me a chance. We went for a practice, and after a few sessions of practice, everyone agreed to accept me as the lead vocalist for the band. And hey, I accepted it. My first band that was. Odd Slumber Friday, a 5 piece band. A pop punk band. Somewhere in the middle, the lineup for the band changed because of a little conflict among us. So we got ourselves in our new lineup.
Here's the lineup for this band :
Me Myself - Lead vocalist
Abang Norhickman/Man - 1st guitarist
Abang Akhmas/Amas - 2nd guitarist
Badrul - Bassist(but he got out from the band in the middle)
Hafizuddin - Bassist(our new member)
Jasmi/Min - Drummer
We joined quite a lot of gigs and shows together. Some of it was Tribute to Modern Rock Part 2 and Go Why Town Rock!!
This band split up because all of us were going separate ways at that time. It was goodbye, but I heard that this band is revived by Abang Akhmas and he got himself new band members(including Man - his own brother). I wish all the best for them!!! This band was the bomb!!! I love them.

Next band, 2nd Floor. This is my band at UMSKAL. Coldplay is this band's biggest influence. And all the band members made me realised how wonderful Coldplay is. Even though I joined this band just for a short time, it was really fun because all the band members are really supportive. As long as we're having fun spreading music, that's what matters. I do love this band for sure.
I didn't know but I heard that this band changed their lineup for a number of times as well.
Me myself - Lead Vocalist
Faizal/ Pejal@Buddy - 1st guitarist
Pakko - 2nd guitarist
Zwan - Bassist
Jai - Drummer
We joined Borneo Bandhunter but we didn't win. But at least we get to know each other closer and we made a strong bond. That's what BUDDY really is. I'm looking forward and I'm willing to play with them anytime. Love you guys.

After a certain period, I didn't have any band. So I started playing my own music, which is acoustic. It was my own project and I name myself Teddy Bear & Ghost Stories. I'm still using that name and this one is still going currently. Even that I'm all alone, I will be playing because music to me is passion. It's not the popularity I'm chasing, it's the passion for music I'm searching for.

Other than that, I played with my own brother as well. He's playing acoustic as well. But we do work together sometimes. So I played as a guitarist and vocalist for his acoustic band, Jack and the Axe @ Jack, Not Hijack. We're trying to record our own music currently and we already covered quite a number of songs.

Teddy Bear & Ghost Stories and Jack and the Axe @ Jack, not Hijack is actually a home project. Everything is done by ourselves with our own instruments, softwares, capital, etc. Other than that, we do have our own songs as well such as A Friend Worth A..., Tanpa Rasa Peduli, Get Back Home and Lagu Buat Mama.

I do accept invitation as well. Other than those I have written above. I played for Fun Guy Freaks and Founding Father as well. As a vocalist. Why do I have to sing all the time*sigh*. I played for this band at Malam Apresiasi Muzik on the 31th December 2008.

That was quite an experience for me. And this not full stop yet. Because I'm still going for it. Music is love and I still want to spread the good words with music. So whatever bands I'm in, I will try my very best.

Thanks for reading. Love you all. Catch you guys and girls later.
P/S : Kanny Ong, Mek sikpat post request tak lok. Tunggu2 jak k?. Hehehe.

Friday the 24th

Good day everyone.
Finally I can steal some time to write here. It's friday, 4 papers down, 3 to go. I feel more relieved now. Serial killer papers are done for the time being. Hahaha. I feel so boring right now, nothing to do, nothing can be done. I miss home, miss my fam. Damn this is killing me. But the story writing is not at an end. It's just the beginning. I am currently following the flow on what to come and what to face.

Arghhh, headache. Going to take some nap. Will be writing back later. Bye bye.
Thanks for reading.
Love you all. Muah muah muah!!!

My Final Exam Timetable...

Finally, final exam is here. So here's my exam timetable. This 3 weeks will be full of misery...

Monday(20 April 2009) - Islamic Financial System(2-5 p.m)

Tuesday(21 April 2009) - Business Statistics(9-12 p.m)
- Fiqh Muamalat(2-5 p.m)

Wednesday(22 April 2009) - Islamic Banking Practice(2-5 p.m)

Wednesday(29 April 2009) - Organizational Behavior(9-12 p.m)

Tuesday(5 April 2009) - Mandarin Language Level 4(9-12 p.m)

Friday(8 April 2009) - Principles of Accounting 2(9-12 p.m)

That is all. So I wish all my friends all the best in your exam. See you next semester and looking forward to see you guys and girls again.

Love you all. Muah muah!!!
XD XD XD

Sibu's Upcoming Gig...

Yo!!! Finally...
Kamek sayang muzik...Ya baruknya...
This gig is organized by Fun Guy Freaks(my brother & cousins) and Elektrograsi Sterio Muzik(my friends).
Meaning to say, I know this 2 bands really well. In addition, this gig is also supported by Founding Father(my uncle).
When family comes together. LOL. I hope I'll be there. I don't wanna miss all the actions.

So guys & girls, if by chance, you're reading this. And if you're interested, don't be a stranger. You can ask me.

All the information are on the flyer.
Any enquiries.Contact me.
Daaa...

Final Exam the Final Showdown

I'm back again. But I feel so tensed!!! Because FINAL EXAM is just around the corner. My war will begin on this coming Monday and it will end 3 weeks later. Damn, what a long time. Within that 3 weeks time, it'll be a lot of reading, reading and more reading. I'll force my body and soul to read even though I know I'm not willing too. Hahaha.

Now that final exam is here, I realized something. Time passes by so fast. It's been 4 months. A lot has happened in that time. Made new friends(yeah, you guys and girls know who you are). Thanks for being there. Learn new things. I feel more motivated compared to who I was before. And thank you to all that was there for me, and still there for me. I love all of you for sure.

So, final final final. That's the only thing flowing in my brain right now. But I'll be sure to steal some time and write more things here. Heee.

Till then, GOOD LUCK TO ALL MY FRIENDS. TOGETHER WE'LL SUCCEED. INSYA-ALLAH...

About Me & My Loved Ones

Yo.I'm back.It's just a minute since my last post.LOL.

My familyyyyyy.It's been a month since I've seen all my family members.And I do miss them so much.My dad,my mom & my 2 little brothers.It was so nice seeing their faces.But it's sad that I came back because my grandfather passed away.

ENCIK BOLHI BIN ZAIN.A name that I will never forget for the rest of my life.He left on the 2nd of March 2009.Because of lung problems if according to what my family told me.Was a great man.Home's different now without him.But ALLAH S.W.T loves him more than we love him.
AL-FATIHAH to 'datuk'...
We will take great care of grandmother.Even though me and all my cousins are very naughty, we do love our grandparents so much.They like to joke around with us.Drawing a smile on their face is what we are able to do.

WAHED BIN HJ. RAMLI.This is my real-life Superman.My own father.A responsible one.He never raises his voice to us(me & my brothers).He gives everything to us, what we want, what we need.Yeahh,and I mean everything.He's willing to go through all the hardship just for his children.It's been 22 years,and I never heard him said 'no' to what we want.

HAMDIAH BINTI BOLHI.My lovely mom.A strict mom but loves her children more than everything.I shared all my problems with her.And that explains why she is the best listener.The closest one to me in my family.I still remember one thing about her.When I was offered to go to university,she was unable to follow me because of her work.Before I leave,she kissed me in the cheek,she hugged me and I knew that she was crying.And I cried too because I was never apart from my family especially from my mom.Funny but it's the fact.Mom,I love you...


KHAIRUL RIDZA BIN WAHED.Yup.That's me.The eldest son in the family :) :) :)
I think it's no need for me to explain.I'll leave the judging to you and the others.Let's move on.Heee...


MOHD ZAQWAN BIN WAHED.The second son in the family.My brother.We don't look much alike.People like to compare the two of us because we're very close.Some even said we are bestfriends.And they don't believe that we are siblings.But hey, that's okay though.I know he's hotter.But hell,I'm HOT as well.LOL.The noisiest in our family.This guy is quite naughty and wild,but lucky it's controllable.An addict to music.And I mean a seriously music addict.Quite good with instruments.To be honest,he's my own music teacher as well.Heee.

And the last one,MOHD ARIQ BIN WAHED.The youngest one in the family.Mom's and dad's favourite.My brother & I like to tease him.And that's where mom will scold us.It's funny but it's like our routine.LOL.The most hardworking among our siblings.And very talented in music.He plays music intruments very well in his young age(he's 13).

That was it, about my family.It's incomplete though.I just gave only the basic details about them.Hee.And sorry because I'm unable to post pictures of my whole family numbers.I have only a limited amount of their pictures.I will try and post them in the future.So make sure you visit frequently.Heee.

That's all for now.My final words: I LOVE YOU FAM!!! xoxoxo

Thanks for reading.Love you guys.Muah!!!

Can't Sleep.

It's wednesday.5.05 a.m.I just came back from watching Liverpool's match with Chelsea.And the result,Chelsea won 3-1 at Anfield and the result is draw at Stamford Bridge.So the conclusion,Chelsea won 7-5 by aggregate.Nice game btw.

But currently I'm having one more problem.I cant sleep.I still have my presentation on later morning.So I think I'll just stay awake.And sleep later afternoon.I think that's cool enough.LOL

I'm clueless on what to post.It's been 3 years since my last post.And based on older posts.I feel like I'm currently changing from time to time.And hell,I think that's funny enough.What a rascal I was.LOL.And hey,I'm loving the way I am right now.It feels like I have been thought so many things.

Whoaa.This post is so boring.Let's move on to my other post.So wait for me for soon I'll be there again.XD XD XD

Later...

It's Been A Long Time...And Now I'm Returning

So...
How long has it been. Was not my willingness to come back here. It was my friend. Who's currently IMing me on Yahoo Messenger. My own coursemate. Yeahh!!! And One Of My Best Friends.
She asked me whether I have my own blog. And I recalled that I used to post so many things in my blog. So I have decided to start all over again. So I assume that this is my comeback. I think I will be more active after this. Because I'm quite free currently. And hey, by the way. For your information, it's been 2 or 3 years since my last post here. LOL. I forgot how to manage my own blog, but I'll try my best. So I think that is all for now. This post is just to tell you that I'm coming back. With whole new me. Don't be a stranger. I'll tell you guys a lot of stories after this. Heee. Bye bye.
P/S : Thank you gee sebab ingatkan aku pasal blog. Rajin2 la follow up ya. Hahaha.